From: LaraMeansXF@aol.com Date: Sun, 15 Sep 2002 23:47:14 EDT Subject: SUB: "The View From the Outer Office: Little Green Men" by Lara Means Source: direct TITLE: The View From the Outer Office: Little Green Men AUTHOR: Lara Means E-MAIL: LaraMeansXF@aol.com WEBSITE: http://larameansxf.tripod.com CLASSIFICATION: V RATING: PG ARCHIVE: NO to Gossamer, Spookys; I'll submit directly to both. YES to Ephemeral. YES to mailing list auto-archives. Anywhere else, please ASK. I'll say yes; I just like to know where the kids are at the end of the day. FEEDBACK: Please? DATE POSTED: 09/15/02 DISCLAIMER: I don't own them. Heck, I don't even own my name. It all belongs to 20th Century Fox. No infringement intended. SPOILERS: Little Green Men. SUMMARY: The gossip train chugs along. AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story is the second in a series of post- ep/missing scene fics centering on Kim, Skinner's assistant. Each is self-contained. If you like, you can read the first one, "The View From the Outer Office," at my website (as soon as I update it; till then, it's at Ephemeral or Gossamer). ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE VIEW FROM THE OUTER OFFICE: LITTLE GREEN MEN written by Lara Means Once a month, the assistants at my level go out to lunch. We usually go to this Mexican place nearby, and a pitcher of margaritas is usually consumed -- along with lots of breath mints so the AD's don't find out. I used to love these monthly lunches. They were a chance to get to know the other assistants, to find out what was going on in other departments. But for the past six months or so, all anybody wants to talk about is the X-files. It started out slowly -- 'Hey Kim, I heard Spooky did this' or 'Hey Kim, what are Spooky and the Missus up to?' The more waves Agents Mulder and Scully started to make, the more I got asked about them at lunch. I don't expect the fact that the X-files project is officially shut down will make a bit of difference to my lunchtime companions. Today's event starts out as it always does, with Miranda complaining about AD Kersh. I can't say I blame her -- the man's got a stick so far up his ass it's a wonder he can bend at the waist -- but after nearly a year of Miranda's bitching, I'm getting tired of it. Today's complaint is pretty typical -- he made her stay late last Friday and her boyfriend got pissed about it. "Stop making yourself so damn indispensable," Renee offers, finishing off the quesadillas. "When Cassidy started pulling that shit on me," Leigh contributes, "I just told her I had better things to do with my Friday nights than babysit her tired ass." Miranda snorts. "Yeah, like I can do that with Kersh." Most likely, that's not how the exchange went. Leigh talks a good game but is a total chickenshit with AD Cassidy -- well, everyone's a chickenshit with AD Cassidy. The woman's a bitch on wheels. "You might wanna tell your boyfriend to chill," Paige tells her. "Let's face it, sometimes we all have to work late." "Kim doesn't," Miranda pouts. Renee raises her glass toward me. "We all ought to be more like Kim and Skinner." "Yeah, Kim got the best deal of all of us," Leigh says. And I have to agree. My relationship with Mr. Skinner is special. He knows that I'll do anything I can to help the office run efficiently -- run interference for him with the other AD's, kiss up to the Deputy Director's assistant to get him more time for a report, put the fear of God into some of his agents -- but he doesn't expect me to fetch his coffee or make his dinner reservations or get his wife on the phone. "Of course, it doesn't hurt that he's *real* easy on the eyes," Paige adds as she pours herself another margarita. The others murmur their agreement, and I turn a little pink. It's not that I don't think Mr. Skinner's attractive, I do, but he's my boss and he's married. It's not appropriate for me to notice how broad his shoulders are. "It's not all a bed of roses, guys," I say. "Mr. Skinner expects a lot from me." "Oh yeah?" Renee asks, winking. "What kinds of things does ol' Wally 'expect,' Kimmy?" "It's Assistant Director Skinner -- and get your mind out of the gutter. Honestly." "It's just a joke, Kim," Paige tells me, and I take another sip of my margarita, willing myself to loosen up a little. Miranda, of course, chooses that moment to bring up the X-files. "Speaking of Skinner, did you guys hear what Spooky pulled today?" I can see Leigh and Renee leaning forward, anxious for any bit of gossip about Agent Mulder. Miranda turns toward her audience. "He bugged out, left his assignment without telling anybody." "You're kidding," Leigh says. "Where'd he go?" "Nobody knows," Miranda tells her, "not even the Missus." "How'd you find out?" Renee asks. "I heard a couple of agents talking about it in the break room." Leigh turns to me. "Kim? You know what's going on?" I shake my head. "I don't know, Leigh, I haven't seen Agent Mulder in nearly a week." And it's true -- since the X-files project was shut down, I don't see him or Agent Scully as much as I used to. I'm surprised to find a spark of worry building inside me. Paige fixes Miranda with a stare. "You sure Agent Scully doesn't know anything?" Miranda shakes her head vehemently. "A friend of mine at Quantico said she was summoned to Skinner's office this morning and didn't go back to the Academy after." Agent Scully did seem awfully upset after she met with Mr. Skinner this morning... "Well, if Spooky's gone solo, she'd be the one to bring him back in," Leigh offers. "I've heard that 'Mrs. Spooky' thing isn't just a nickname anymore." I'm trying to loosen up, really I am, but the more they talk about them, the more they toss around those horrible names, the angrier I get. I wonder sometimes why Agents Mulder and Scully inspire this sort of thing. Among the other agents I could understand it -- they're very good at their jobs, and their case closure rate is far above the Bureau average, so some jealousy is expected. But can my fellow assistants be so shallow that, since they're attractive people who work well together, they automatically assume there's more to the relationship? Paige sees me gnawing at a fingernail and leans over, speaking quietly. "Don't worry, Kim. Leigh's right, if anyone can find him, Agent Scully can." I give her a tiny smile and a nod. I start to pour myself another margarita, but then I think better of it. I have a feeling I'll want to keep my wits about me this afternoon. END ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ AUTHOR'S NOTE: sallie is the best beta ever. I owe you big time, sweetie. Extreme gratitude as always to IWTB for unwavering support and encouragement.